1.A two-pack of reusable silicone baking mats available with or without printed-on guidelines for making perfectly sized macarons that you’ll wonder how you ever baked without. Pricey, single-use parchment paper? I don’t know her.
2.A practically perfect pullover sweatshirt that’ll make you forget the concept of “boyfriend sweatshirt” — you’ll be ready to make a more serious commitment and full-on marry this baby.
3.An amazingly convenient veggie chopper from the kitchen geniuses at Oxo that’ll not only save you a ton of time dicing ingredients, but also allow you to smoothly and easily pour out the cut vegetables when you’re done. I bet this can shave 10 minutes off meal prep and cleanup, easily.
4.The Cat Dancer, a super-simple wire toy that every cat and owner alike will become paws-itively obsessed with. It’s the $2 way to get your cat to perform the most hilarious antics of their nine lives, so I suggest having a camera ready.
5.The perfect, go-everywhere cross-body bag you’ve been searching for your entire purse-carrying life. Adjustable strap? Check. Room for all your crap? Check. Inside and outside pockets? Check. Cute design that’s not too bulky? You guessed it, check. No wonder it’s got over 4,500 5-star reviews!
6.Or a roomier, slightly more splurge-worthy vegan-leather bag whose middle name is versatility. It can be carried as a cross-body, backpack, shoulder bag, or top-handle satchel, and it comes complete with an adjustable strap, plenty of pockets, a padded 15″ laptop sleeve, and a key-holding leash to keep everything organized as heck.
7.A cool and convenient foot scrubber mat that’s a ridiculously easy but game-changing upgrade to your tub or shower. It attaches to the side or floor with suction cups, so you can easily get your nasty tootsies clean without losing your balance in the shower and while giving them a good pampering, too.
9.A set of water-resistant, space-saving packing cubes that over 12,900 reviewers swear by for maximizing their suitcase space. You have to leave room for all the souvenirs you’ll inevitably buy!!!!
10.The cult-fave Instant Pot Duo, a programmable wonder that can cook pretty dang much anything and be the only kitchen gadget you need for comfort-food meals and everything else — it’ll serve as a pressure cooker, slow cooker, yogurt maker, sauté pan, steamer, and rice cooker. All you have to do is toss in your ingredients and hit a button, and let this baby take it from there.
12.A beyond handy wall-mounted, magnetic knife bar with over 19,000 (!!!) 5-star reviews that looks way ~sharper~ and takes up less space than a traditional knife block. Win-win.
13.Super-slim and convenient ice packs, which will be a huge improvement from the bulky monstrosities you (or your kiddo) used to tote in your (or their) lunch bag.
14.Mike’s Hot Honey, a chili-infused honey that may make you realize you’ve been eating food wrong all your life — because pretty much anything is better with this stuff on it. Time to throw out all your other condiments, because you’ve found the one topping that works just as well for pizza and chicken as it does for ice cream and even in cocktails.
15.A gorgeous lace cocktail dress, which may be the only dressy dress you need in your wardrobe for a long time. It’ll never go out of style and you can accessorize it tons of ways!
16.The Squatty Potty, aka the iconic bathroom stool that’ll help you assume the right position to pass your stools with ease.
17.Dropps laundry pods for a cruelty-, phthalate-, chlorine-, and dye-free cleaning pick that even comes in compostable packaging. These have ingredients that fight stains and odors and keep colors bright, so tossing one pod in with your clothes will do it all, Phineas and Ferb style.
18.A cute and clever Oxo three-in-one egg separator that’ll be a livesaver for novice and frequent cooks alike. It’s got two sizes of slots to fit on the edge of pretty much any bowl or pan, and it provides an edge for cracking the egg, keeps the shells out of the bowl, *and* separates whites and yolks. Yeah, it really goes the ~eggs~tra mile.
19.A massaging, exfoliating, and blood flow–increasing scalp brush over 63,000 (!!!) reviewers swear by to give you that feeling of someone deep shampooing your hair at a salon, not to mention help with dandruff and buildup, and even help encourage hair growth!
20.An easily portable (and even packable!) handheld steamer to save you trips to the cleaners and keep your favorite shirt looking like the day you bought it. “Hopelessly” wrinkled clothes may not be so hopeless after all.
21.The perfect tomato-slicing knife, which hundreds of reviewers are legit obsessed with, because notoriously difficult-to-slice fruits are no match for this wonder. It’s a little upgrade that’ll make meal prep easier in a big way.
22.A sleek Cuisinart cast-iron grill press to help you have the best BBQ of your life. It’ll help you grill your food evenly, press out extra oil and fat, and give whatever you’re cooking professional-looking (and mouthwatering 😋) grill marks.
23.A sleek and minimal midi tank dress that’s comfy enough to lounge around in while you work from home (while still feeling way more stylish than you would in sweats), but that can also be styled up under a jacket, with booties, or knotted at the side (or all the above) to serve up almost too much fall fashion goodness. It’s a basic that feels way fresher than a regular T-shirt dress, IMHO.
24.A game-changing pair of no-tie shoelaces you can use to turn any pair of shoes into comfy, perfect-fitting slip-ons and banish gross, hazardous dangling shoelaces forever. Just ask the over 50,000 positive reviewers.
25.A gluten- and cruelty-free mascara that reviewers say actually stays the heck on, even through long days and sweat. As if that wasn’t amazing enough, it’s Only. Five. Dollars.
26.A classically autumnal felt fedora available in neutral hues and bold statement colors and with over 3,000 5-star ratings, because it’s the perfect way to (literally) top off any fall ensemble.
27.An amazingly resilient (and affordable) waterproof Bluetooth speaker that simply can’t be ~beat~ for use in the shower, on outdoor adventures, or pretty much anywhere.
28.A multifunction pocket tool to keep on hand, because Scar may have been evil and all, but he had a point — you should always BE PREPARED. Even if you are someone (like me) who can’t tell different types of wrenches apart, you’ll be glad to have several at your disposal so you can be a hero next time you’re at a party and something breaks (or, ya know, someone needs a bottle opener).
30.A Schick Hydro Silk TrimStyle razor with a built-in bikini trimmer on the other end that’s an absolute must-have for anyone who’s been looking for a way to shave ~down there~ and everywhere with ease — take it from me.
31.A top-rated box of moisturizing bath bombs in 12 different soothing aromas sure to give you a perfect ~scents~ of relaxation.
32.Classic Aquaphor Lip Repair with soothing and moisturizing ingredients like shea butter, chamomile essence, and vitamins C and E that’ll basically give your kisser spa-worthy results for under $5.
33.A universal jar opener that takes up — get this — ZERO drawer space. Because you don’t have as big a kitchen as the Krusty Krab, but you do sometimes feel like Patrick struggling to open a jar.
It comes with peel-and-stick adhesive and three screws to easily install it!
Promising review: “We have had this in use for six months; works like a charm on every top we have tried. IMO the best opener aid I have ever seen. My only downside would be we have to look under the cabinet to verify we align the top correctly. BUT that is also an upside — it is always where it needs to be and it is firmly held in place for ease of use. IMO you can’t go wrong buying this item. So simple yet elegant in design.” —Ronnie